letting it go

Some days, it seems like my life is such a challenge. Everyday is a struggle to figure out how to be happy and how to stay happy. I will wake up happy and so "Brie" like however by the end of the day I find some reason to crash and burn. The saying goes, "time heals all wounds" however I have to disagree. Every day, every year its like the absence of not having parents weighs on me heavier and heavier. It's not something that is easily describable really. Think of your parents, what do you see? Maybe you see how hard they are on you, or how crazy they are, the things they should have done or how you wish they could have been. But underneath it all my guess would be you would see a connection, the two people that created you and have helped make you exactly who are. It's a connection that no one else can ever have with you, because well they are you. That is something that I will always be missing. I can look at pictures, read diaries, and hear story after story (which don't take me wrong I cherish) however I will never be able to create my own real opinion of them. My opinion is just a distorted view of what ive been told and the little bits I remember. Not once when I am sad maybe about a guy will I be able to ask my mother how she dealt with heartaches, never will I be able to just crawl in my dad's lap just for him to tell me how amazing I am. When I'm confused about life the two people who I would have the strongest underlying connection with will never be able to comfort me with their words or love. Don't take me wrong, I'm not throwing a pity party by any means nor am I asking for words of comfort. I simply feel like I have held all this in and have never found anyone that I could fully trust enough to understand my pain. So, to induce progress I have decided to write it all down and send it into the online abyss.  Always remember that no one's pain is less than or worse than your own. <3

P.S. I put on my mother's wedding band, it fits perfect ;) funny how the little things mean so much.